Shocking News

A scenario I came up with out of the blue:

Jim: "Hey Mike. What's wrong?"

Mike: "My thoughts are killing me right now."

Jim: "What about?"

Mike: "I had just left work. It was dark. And you know how dangerous it gets

in that neighborhood."

Jim: "You still work off Skid Row?"

Mike: "Yeah. Well, anyways, I was walking to my car when a man started coming at me

really fast. Almost stumbling."

Jim: "Uh oh."

Mike: "I thought he was gonna rob me. I was freaking out. Then he got really close

and started mumbling. But I was so scared, I pulled out my taser and stunned

him in the left eye."

Jim: "Oh boy."

Mike: "And he fell down. Hard. But I honestly didn't know what to do. Then I felt bad.

So I tried to wake him up. Even gave him CPR.

Jim: "What? Why?"

Mike: "Because I thought it was the right thing to do. But he didn't respond.

So I stunned him in the other eye to see if that would get his attention."

Jim: "You've gotta be kidding me."

Mike: "It didn't work. No response at all."

Jim: "Gee, ya think?"

Mike: "But eventually he came to. The funeral home."

Jim: "That's terrible!"

Mike: "I went. I spoke a few good words. Even though I didn't know him.

Turns out he was running late, was hungover, and needed directions to his new job.

At the cemetery."

Jim: "Damn. Sounds like he dug himself into a hole."