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  • Writer's pictureChris Cisneros

Maykin' Whoopee

Updated: May 2, 2018

It’s May Day!

We’re officially halfway through spring.

Believe it or not, the month of May has a centuries-old ritual that many cultures partake in. It’s called the Maypole Dance.

Sounds innocent, right? Well, let me explain to you the meaning of this springtime gesture. To put it in layman’s terms, the Maypole Dance is an artistic expression of SEX.

That’s right! S-E-X.

Look at the image I posted below. Do you know what the huge pole represents? Here's a hint: every guy has one.

Yep – it’s a phallus. And do you see how it’s "poking" through a ring? [I don’t have to tell you what the ring means, because you probably get the HOLE idea]

Now, you may be thinking, "Pole-eez, what does this have to do with spring?"

Ah, but that’s the answer. It’s all about spring and fertility. It’s the season when life springs into existence. That’s why we call it spring.

The Maypole Dance started as a way to mark the emergence of life. It’s a type of immaculate conception. One that takes place in nature – without the use of a mattress or scented oils.

Or Barry White.

May Day is also known as Beltane – a pagan celebration where the god Bel and the goddess Belisama come together to create life. Of course, the Egyptians had the phallus of Osiris or Min as their sacred homage to fertility.

I could talk all day about potent poles and fertile holes. But you get the picture.

Hope you have a sex-cessful day!

The ribbons represent DNA strands. One group moves clockwise, the other moves counterclockwise. It's a union and male and female forces – coming together to generate life. Generate is basis of the word "genes".


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