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  • Chris Cisneros

Becky with the Good Hip

Updated: May 2, 2018

I was at the gym late last night. On a stationary bike.

An older man came in and started using the one next to me.

He looked overworked. But genuinely pleasant. And he carried

the scent of menthol cigarettes.

Him: "How much longer you got on that bike?"

Me: "Only a couple of minutes."

Him: "You've got the best one. All these other bikes are old.

Everything's too old. I was just in Vegas, and even the hotel beds

are old. Then I went to LA, and their hotel beds are old, too.

Old beds! I'm tired of old things.

Me: "I bet! My uncle was in Vegas last week. He went to a strip show.

He said the stripper came out on stage using a walker."

Him: "A walker?!"

Me: "Yep. Then he asked the waitress to bring him a bottle of their finest.

And she brought him a bottle of sarsaparilla."

Him: "But the one with the walker was dancing? How?"

Me: "With a hip replacement.

At least her job is a lot more commendable than mine."

Him: "What do you do?"

Me: "I sell antique beds."



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